Finding Peace in Your Grief

By: Erie County Cremation Service
Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Even if you’ve never experienced a loss, you may have heard about the five stages of grief. This idea that people experience grief in stages was pioneered by psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who has written extensively on grief and dying.

She theorized that, when a person experiences loss, they’ll go through the following stages as they come to terms with what’s happened:

Denial: Everything seems overwhelming and nonsensical. The loss doesn’t feel real. It’s hard to accept. We feel numb.

Anger: We’re mad. We might be mad at the universe, or feel anger toward those you love.

Bargaining: We feel guilt. Maybe if we did things differently, we could have spared our loved one. We feel upset with ourselves for saying—or not saying—things to our loved one. We’re trying to find meaning.

Depression: We’ve started living in the present again, aware that our loved one is gone. It’s saddening. We’re no longer angry or in denial, but haven’t quite made peace with our situation.

Acceptance: We acknowledge that things are never going to be the same, and that we’re not able to change the situation. We may not necessarily be completely ok, but we’ve accepted our new normal and are working to keep moving forward in our own lives.

What we know now is that not everyone experiences all of the stages of grief. Nor does it always happen in the order above. The truth is that everyone who experiences loss will experience grief, too, and it will feel different for each person.

It is, however, important to make peace with your situation. A Memorial Service or Memorial Gathering can help.

How a Memorial Service or Memorial Gathering Can Help with the Grieving Process

It’s very hard to accept that your loss is real. Oftentimes, we speak with families about having some type of service in order to provide closure. Many who opt not to hold some sort of ceremony right away do come back months later looking to bring closure to family and friends.

We’re not psychologists, but we do hear from families who tell us that having a ceremony was greatly beneficial for the grieving process. Bringing together a group of people who share in their love of the deceased is a powerful and important way for everyone involved to talk about how they’re feeling, what makes them sad or angry, and how they’re handling the loss.

A ceremony can mark the beginning of the grieving process, helping nudge friends in family forward by providing a formal chance to say goodbye.

There’s No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve

Just as the lives we live are unique, our grief, too, is personal. Since everyone experiences grief in their own way, there’s no cookie-cutter way to guarantee that your process will follow a specific path. But, that doesn’t mean that it’s unimportant to move forward in your own grieving process.

Having a Memorial Gathering or Memorial Service can provide comfort, regardless of where you are in your own grief and emotions. These ceremonies are intended to benefit the survivors—those feeling left behind by their friend or loved one—so it’s important not to discount how important it is to give people you care about a chance to say farewell.

We have a lot of experience when it comes to personalized services, so we can help you plan something that’s dignified, honorable, and memorable to help you find peace with your loss. Our facility is purpose-built for having large gatherings, with ample parking and accessible access. Stop in for a coffee or give us a call to let us answer any questions you might have.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Why Choose Permanent Memorialization?

With cremation rates on the rise, many families consider keeping their loved one’s cremated remains at home. Like the choice to be cremated, the final disposition for those remains is a personal ch...

Who Makes Funeral or Cremation Planning Decisions When You Can’t?

When it comes to handling your funeral or cremation planning, the best way to ensure that your wishes are respected is to pre-plan while you’re still alive. Following death, things can become much ...

Serving Those Who’ve Served: The Patriot Guard Riders of New York

Over the years, we’ve been privileged to provide services to many of our region’s fallen Military Heroes, First Responders, and Veterans. We take pride in being able to serve those who’ve served ou...

Why Are Personalized Services So Important?

When it comes time for funeral and cremation planning, so many decisions need to be made about disposition and the arrangements themselves that personalization can end up being an afterthought. We ...

The Healing Effect of An Ash Scattering Journey

Scattering your loved one’s ashes is one of the most personal ways that you can honor their life. People choose scattering for any number of reasons, but it’s often tied to a desire to be put to re...

The Importance of Honoring Your Loved One's Final Wishes

If you’re charged with taking care of final arrangements for your loved one, you may feel that they’ve provided a wishlist that conflicts with who you’ve known them to be. Consider that fulfilling ...

How Do I Convince My Parents to Pre-Plan?

Many of us have been fortunate to have loving, supportive parents growing up. They’ve loved and supported us through our ups and downs, offering their advice along the way. It’s hard to imagine lif...

Why Is Cremation Becoming So Popular?

For those outside of the funeral profession, it may come as a surprise that cremation has outpaced traditional burial. As the needs of our families change, so do our services. More than ever, we’re...

What’s the Difference Between a Memorial Gathering and Traditional Visitation?

Celebrating the life of your loved one is an important part of coming to terms with your loss. They may have specific wishes that you’re charged with carrying out, or you may have to make arrangeme...